Re-faithed.

Thank You for giving me something wonderful,
for something great in the darkest times.
Thank You for showing me once more,
to find the courage deep within.
Thank You for hearing me speak,
and answering a broken voice.

Thank you for being there again,
time after time.
Thank you for loving me,
when it seemed like no one else would.
Thank you for promising me,
as you did before, as you always have.
Thank you for having faith in me,
so that I would have faith in him, once more.

I love you.

n-joi

Traumatized.

HEY ALL. DUE TO CERTAIN INCONVENIENCES, MY PHONE IS GONE WITH THE WIND.
SO PLEASE JUST OFFLINE MESSAGE ME OR EMAIL ME OR TAG MY TAGBOARD IF THERE IS ANY PROBLEM.
THANK YOU!

n-joi

Donation.

I donated my blood. First time is the last time for that.
It was pain to a small extent. The injection was stinging.
The RUDE AWAKENING CAME WHEN THEY PUSHED IN THE THING TO DRAW UR BLOOD.
I was tense throughout. Guess it was a fear of shifting and thus causing more pain.
But then again. What the hell. I saved a possible 3 lives.
Did you?

There standing,
mortal beauty that crucifies judgement.
Beyond means.
What used to stay,
fades into the undecided background.
Betray, betrayed,
a revolution that starts,
a cycle that swallows.
Pits of despair,
yet I tangle myself,
for it is the only salvation.
In a darkened state.

n-joi

Contention.

Corruption and feigned ignorance,
victim to the endless democracy.
Slit throats for the price of freedom,
this is the bloodied road we’re meant to see.

Affliction by the hands of torment,
ciphers for the twisted symbols.
Machine coated collared sickness,
taking others lives for the end of survival.

CanITellYou.

lol, reading old posts and I realized I forgot to update one thing.
I HAVE NOT EVEN BEEN CLOSE TO making headway on "The Love of Life" thing. hahahahaha.
SRY ALL!

but I really wish I have the time too. Maybe after A's or something.
I'll see how.

Mini-aim now,
To make Evan learn "I Never Knew"
and record a full proper version of "Three Way Crash" on my own
as well as record a FULLLLLL WITH BAND version of "Three Way Crash"

And I just realised I never mentioned anything about the song "Three Way Crash"
It's a song I wrote in secondary 4 after overlooking someone messaging someone else on the bus. Her type size font was large so I read it. Apparently, this girl had been with a guy for 10 years, not married, but he totally wrecked her apart. The message was sad, and the main line that hit me so hard was this simple line.

"After 10 years of knowing you, at least now I know you are capable of loving someone else."

The bus passed a traffic junction where there had been a crash between two cars and a lorry and it was a serious accident. After which I alighted and went straight home to write the lyrics for the song. I didn't know what to name it, so I related everything to this friend of mine who saw the link between the accident and the girl. Just like one lorry crashing into two cars, this one guy crashed into two girls. And then she said the three words.

"Three Way Crash"

So without further adue, here are the lyrics, with a tribute to the girl on that no. 10 bus.

"Three Way Crash"

Close my eyes,
say goodbye,
this is the end of us.
I still don't understand,
why you lied.
Why you needed to break us apart.

Cause I prayed,
through every night and day.
For you.

At least now I know,
that you're capable of loving someone else.

Cause when I leave,
will you still be a part of me,
in my mind,
or in my soul,
or just a memory?
Cause I could never take such pain.
And I'm just confused in this nightmare i'm living in.

I guess my mind's,
too confused.
It's clouded in hate and mistrust.
I still don't understand,
why you had to turn around and leave.

At least now I know,
that you're capable of loving someone else.

Cause when I leave,
will you still be a part of me,
in my mind,
or in my soul,
or just a memory?
Cause I could never take such pain.
And I'm just confused in this nightmare i'm living in.

Taking my heart,
and tearing my soul.
Crying out now,
but it's too far from home.
This burden I suffer,
I bear it alone.
For what you said,
killed me.

Till the next update.
n-joi

FML.

Yes, I went through the first choir auditions with a subpass. I failed one line which all my other mates failed as well.
Today, with my busted up voice I had my reaudition for that line. Upon hitting the line, and singing the first note of that line, I knew I was done for.
Then a second and third chance to reaudit for a place. And Deja Vu. Just like two years ago, with my stupid busted ass voice, I failed, and became a stand-by.
But this time it is worse cause stand-bys dont come for choir prac, meaning they probably dont have a last audition to get in.
WHOOTS. Fuck My Life.

Was happy that Alvin made it though. His hard work exceeds everyone in choir added up together.
so ya, congrats Al.

So with choir, unwantingly out of the fucking way, I guess I just have to broke ass study hard.
Congrats to all the fobs who wanted me to stop choir ASAP and study. AKA relatives.

I went running at 9.30pm. came back at 10.20pm. Just caused I felt so sick of life.

so till then,
n-joi


Now, with choir out of the way,

EpitomeOfTheEyes.

Choir camp just ended. And as per every camp I have been in, I have busted my voice. ;p
Choir camp was fun I guess, and really taxing when you have a crazy bunch of J1's who keep pounding at basketball and football and inevitably drive you to want to do the same. Sleep was scarce even though I knocked off earlier. Shiiiiiiiity.

Went out with Gwen today where she treated me to an AWESOME MEAL at this Ramen stall that only serves three types of Ramen at Central. Shopping at Meidi-ya where I blasted a bomb on chocolates and drinks. Spent most of our time sleeping on the bus. HAHA.

And here, I would like to say something. I don't know what you want. And you are making me want to kill you. But if you want to fake shit and point the gun in between my nose and say that you didn't do it, bring it on. Asses never appreciate. Fob questions. Bitch, wrench in hell.

I saw you looking through the corner of my eye.
n-joi

ButThenAgain.

I want to enjoy a good time by performing live. With a band. With a song I write.
I want to hear them sing along. And cheer.
I want to soak in that atmosphere.
Grah. too far away.

n-joi